December 2: first day of Advent 2018
We are so hungry for God… for the peace that passes understanding, for the ecstasy we sometimes touch in nature and in worship, for the touch, the felt experience of the One in whom we live and move and have our being, for transcendence beyond our suffering to the origin and destiny of our faith experience.
I am a follower of Jesus and a burnt out caregiver. As I write, I remember who I am, who my creator is, who my Lord and Teacher is and I am grateful for the gift of the Holy Spirit at work in and through me. And yet my innards are roiled with anxiety – there is no peace inside. Everything is an effort! This is only the latest manifestation of my personal Dark Night of the Soul. The exhaustion that is part of my caregiver burnout gives rise often to depressive thoughts and I find myself anxiously trying to gain control in an overwhelming situation. In all these aspects I am like you, my faithful reader.
You too have had your experiences of God, you too have your faith and are grateful for the foundation and direction in your life. But like me, you find yourself struggling these days. So many of us are experiencing this absence of God, this Dark Night of the Soul which is an integral part of our journey towards becoming the gifts we were created to be. You see we all have wiring from our earliest days and training that separates us from our loving creator, the One. We were taught to conform, to be like everybody else. There are times when these old programs which have formed us take over and leave us depressed and anxious and wondering where God is in all of this.
Traditionally Advent is a time when we turn to that part of our faith experience that includes the anticipation of Jesus’ Second Coming. It is a time during which we experience the darkness in anticipation of the light dawning when He comes again.
Join with me this Advent in a journey through the darkness so that the light may dawn anew in us.
Lord grant that your light may dawn in us and in your world.