Solomon prayed for wisdom when he was crowned King of Israel and became the wisest man alive. Yet after all was said and done this was his summation:
I have seen all the things that are done under the sun;
all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
What is crooked cannot be straightened;
what is lacking cannot be counted.
Solomon was stuck in his own mind and without transcendence, indeed everything is futile. But when we are stuck in the dark night of the soul, there is no transcendence only at times the memory of transcendence and the trust that connection will again be experienced once this season of purgation and suffering has come to and end. If we are able, we may remember God’s actions in our lives or in history, but mostly that all seems like dust now – out of reach, a shadow, insubstantial when compared to the hopelessness and helplessness of the moment.
God have mercy on me, rescue me from this darkness, let me see your light once more! And yet I will trust the One who created me, who sustains me and who holds me even when I’m crying and screaming.