It used to be that my wife and I would take off for different places we’d like to go when time and inspirations struck. It was an important part of our relationship as we enjoyed Nova Scotia one year and Italy another time as well as short, more local jaunts, which included driving her to a conference and getting the drive and evenings with her with enjoyable quiet days for me. That was then, this is now. (This blog was written in the fall of 2017.)
Now I’m having lunch at the wonderful restaurant at Lake on the Mountain near Picton, a beautiful place with a spectacular view which I’ve enjoyed before with my lovely wife. But I’m sitting on my own with my own thoughts and it’s just not the same. Walking down the road after lunch to get a bit of exercise in the beautiful sunshine and lovely landscape is not the same as what is sparked by seeing other couples walking hand-in-hand. I miss holding hands on vacation with my sweetie.
Now we take vacations separately because of the cost and complexity of arranging the support my in-laws need. They do best with in-home support, in fact I know that they would slide downhill quickly, even at the nicest care facility. They are happy in their little cocoon with him providing her the support he can while additional services like daily washes as well as most days respite care (to give her sociability, exercise and support with consuming her high calorie, yummy home-made smoothies and to give him a break) are integrated now into their routine. Disturb this routine at their peril and therefore ours!
So now I am putting together our caregiving team of nursing assistants (we call them PSWs – personal support workers) sitters, friends and family so that my wife and I can get away for a while, knowing that her parents will be well taken care of while we’re gone. It’s been more than two years. Hope it works!